The first day's were horrible. I look back at my August 13th entry in my journal for a point of reference: "Damn, Ramadan is kicking my ass. My sleep pattern is off- my eating pattern is off- my energy is low (though I think this might be mental) and the beesap girl is back! Just in time for me to not be able to drink it- great." Beesap is this absolutely amazing drink here made from Senegalese Hibiscus flowers. Its boiled and you add sugar or mint to taste. Its one of those drinks that taste different depending on who makes me and how cold it is. Well the best version I've had is from this little girl who sits in front of the orphanage with a blue cooler. In the 100 + degree weather she manages to keep these little bags of beesap frozen to perfection and they are the most refreshing drink I've had thus far. Unfortunately, in the days leading up to Ramadan, she was nowhere to be found...I couldn't even get my last fix. Now with the start of the month of fasting ahead of me, she was back. I clearly wasn't the only one who missed her as many of the other volunteers bought two or three bags of the goodness. I watched as people bit holes in the corner to enjoy paradise. Angry at the those who accidentally squirted some on the ground when the bag was first pierced, I found myself thinking "dont you know how good that stuff youre carelessly wasting is!" You'd be surprised how much you notice people who have when you have not. The worst part of this realization is that just a day before I was on the other side of this relationsip. Throwing away leftovers I didn't want, forgetting about half drunken bottles of juice once my thirst was quenched...
As I continued to learn from the lessons disguised in the month of Ramadan, I focused more on my fortune rather than my temporary misfortune, if you could even call it that. Even days when I was starving and absolutely dying of thirst, somehow miraculously, at 7:30 when it was time to break fast..I was still alive. Toward's the end of the day when I only had a few hours left, I always started my countdown. "Just two hours left, you've lasted all day, you can make it two more hours" I would think. Now looking back, I think of those who have no time to countdown to. Those who are indefinetly hungry, never knowing when the time to break fast will come, if it ever will. Part of the reason I chose to participate in the fasting was to learn what it feels like to be hungry. I've always been a compassionate person, and give when I can, but I'm a strong believer that until you live it you don't really know it. Now I know, atleast the beginnings, to be so hungry you can't imagine doing anything but eating, to be so thirsty you swish the spit around in your mouth hoping that it will help..it never does.
Its bizarre really how the creator shows you things. How deprived of food and drink, I can still be thankful for all I do have:
"Today has been such a struggle for me - I am so so very thirsty. I want to break down and drink but I think instead I will pray. I know that I wont die by waiting until 7:30 and there are many in the world who don't know when their next drink will come. This will remind me of my fortunes. Always remember the blessings bestowed upon me and my life. Even here, with power that cuts off daily- sleeping on a foam mattress with no hot water, I am still blessed. There are still many who would kill to be in my position - so yes, I will hold out. Though I am very thirsty - I will wait and continue to fast."
By far the most valuable lesson of all.
So after a month of struggling, ups and downs, waking up at 5 am to eat bread and drink warm milk, hoping it would carry me through the day, I MADE IT! And now it's time to celebrate with the day that marks the end of Ramadan, Korite
It almost reminded me of a combination of Thanksgiving (minus the negative historical context) and Homecoming at Howard. I say homecoming because even if you didn't know what was coming up, you knew it was something. Everyday you saw a new transformation: new wigs, waxed eyebrows, extensions, freshly braided hair (Side note, micros here are $14!, I'm thinking I've been ripped off after years of paying $120+!) But I digress, the days leading up to the celebration, the market was packed and the tailor was backed up with orders for new outfits. The excitment kept building. The night before the festivities Ndeirebe (the daughter of the family I live with) started preparing the food. She was beyond excited about everything we were having the next day, though as she named off the list of dishes I'd never heard of I was more just excited for the new experience.
The morning started with Lakh. I actually overslept and missed out on this dish but from what I saw, it looked like some kind of ground fish mixture. Its the traditional breakfast for Korite and my family devoured it so apparently it's good. Then the day of cooking began. It reminded me of Thanksgiving for two reasons. For one, the woman were in the kitchen (or backyard) all day long. Ndeirebe woke up at 6 am to start preparing everything and I couldn't help but remember all the years I heard my mother wake up at the wee hours to put the turkey in the oven and the rest of the day she spent cooking all my favorite foods. The second reason it reminded me of Thanksgiving was my unsuccesful attempt at helping to cook. I have been promising my mom for years that I would help cook Thanksgiving dinner. I always start out with the best intentions, but never quite make it through. Here again I offered to help, really with the best intentions at heart. I however quickly changed my mind after I watched my mom here drop potatoes on the ground and put them back into the dish. Now this isn't the kitchen floor, its the ground, outside in the backyard. The same backyard thats is home for the the family's chickens and goats who are either pets or the next meal..I haven't quite figured that out. Regardless the animals live, are washed, and relieve themselves on that same ground and knowing this I decided I might enjoy the meal more if I didn't see how it was made. My decision was confirmed when Ndeirebe suggested I come watch the goat be killed..I instead retreated into my room, closed the door and put in my ear plugs!
After that catastrophe, I started to get back in the groove of things again (mostly because I stayed indoors and played with Mareme- the 5 year old youngest daughter) She showed me the new purchases in the house which turned out to be brand new mattresses for the father and eldest son. I'm not sure if it was just a coincidence but I found it comical and ironic as part of the fast includes refraining from any sexual activity.
Finally, the "feast" was ready..which really was just mounds and mounds of meat (mutton) fried potatoes and onions. I broke my vegetarianism to partake and actually quite enjoyed myself. Not so much eating meat again (though that might be psychological) but more so just the energy of excitment, joy, and pride that the end of Ramadan brings. Next the little kids get their chance for fun. Everyone dresses to the nines and they all go out together, trick or treat style, only instead of candy they get money. As the little one's go out to make a killing, Ndeirebe and I started to get dressed for our evening. I didn't know what to expect but I was thrilled to be dressing up after a month of feeling dirty and wearing t-shirts and loose pants. We showered, did make-up, hair, got ready..and we were off. To be honest, the night turned into a walk down memory lane..back to high school that is. We house hopped from one social gathering to the next, of people sitting around, separeted by gender lines, barely talking. I supposed I should have expected it knowing that at 20 years old, Ndeirebe isn't allowed to do much socially and will be leaving home for the first time for her freshman year at the University in November. We made it home by our midnight curfew (man it's been a while since I've had one of those!) and called it a night.
All in all, the month, and celebration to commemorate its end were great. I'm here to learn, grow, and experience a new culture and throughout this time I did nothing but!
